Acceptance and waiting

“Accepting where you are is not the same as settling.” -Lauren Fleshman

I started writing this last weekend, after an appointment with my cardiologist here in Lansing.  I had a whole big thing of feeling sad about the irony that is my heart being damaged by something that is supposed to keep me healthy – but I’m gonna delete it all, and start over.

The short version is, the EKG and echo didn’t show any change from the previous appointment in December.  The result is another appointment in March, and continued orders of no exercise till then.  But I can walk.  So I went to the indoor track at the Y and walked in circles (ovals?) for 20 minutes, which seems to be my activity threshold for right now.

I emailed my tri coaches and withdrew from the tri team training at the Y. 😥  I am signed up for the Bayshore Half Marathon on May 28 and Ludington Triathlon on August 21, but I am going to have to accept that there’s no way to know when I’ll be able to train again, so I am not signing up for anything else until I know for sure I am back at normal capacity.

So here’s what I’m doing to fill my time:

Goals:

Keep up on my grad reading, not just skimming or skipping chapters

Read more books for fun, and keep a list of 2016

Cook – I actually really like cooking when I am not pressed for time…baking is a different story.  I melted some cookies today.

Get back into art – there’s a studio nearby with open nights on the wheel, I have a friend with a wheel and a kiln, I’ve still got all of my drawing and painting supplies

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7 thoughts on “Acceptance and waiting

  1. Oh Anne- my heart aches for yours. I LOVE your goals- they sound fantastic. When I couldn’t run because of my femoral stress fracture last winter, I really struggled with how to define myself. Glad you’re working on other ways to cultivate your spirit! xoxoxoxoxoxo

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  2. Anne, I can’t even imagine how tough this would be; you seem to be headed down the right path, though, in terms of making some adjustments for yourself and trying to find new things to focus on, for the time being. Like you, I enjoy cooking when I have the time and don’t feel rushed; maybe you can share some of your new experiences with us! Nevertheless, this sucks; holding on for better news soon.

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